October is here. Typically, I would be super excited about I adore fall and everything it entails. ( more in the apple cider way instead of the pumpkin spice way) but this fall is different. This month will approach one year of our miscarriage. Did you know 1 in 4 women will experience a miscarriage, still birth, or infant loss. 1 in 4. I am that 1 in 4.
That statistic is absurd to me. how can something this prevalent and common be so undiscussed or embraced? In a typical month of awareness, there are a lot of channels and ways people process grief. and thats a good thing. Grief is so different for everyone, and it is nothing you can put into a box and say here, this is how you deal with this.
and for me? I am still processing. I'm still healing.
and thats okay.
I am learning to let things go. learning to heal. learning to un-busy myself a bit and just be. Because sometimes the grief is still overwhelming. I am coming to realize that I still have a lot to process and a lot to overcome and I think I always will. But learning to recognize that and move forward with that reality is something I am working on.
This month, I have one goal. to focus on self- care and healing. because I can already tell it's going to be a hard month for me.
I will be sharing more of our story over the next few weeks-- sometimes a common voice is all someone needs to start healing, and if I can bring that to someone then I will share forever.
goals are good. but healing is also good. and thats where I'll be.