October//Goals

untitled-10 October is here.  Typically, I would be super excited about I adore fall and everything it entails.  ( more in the apple cider way instead of the pumpkin spice way)  but this fall is different.  This month will approach one year of our miscarriage. Did you know 1 in 4 women will experience a miscarriage, still birth, or infant loss.  1 in 4.  I am that 1 in 4.

That statistic is absurd to me.  how can something this prevalent and common be so undiscussed or embraced?  In a typical month of awareness, there are a lot of channels and ways people process grief. and thats a good thing.  Grief is so different for everyone, and it is nothing you can put into a box and say here, this is how you deal with this.

and for me?  I am still processing. I'm still healing.

and thats okay.

I am learning to let things go. learning to heal. learning to un-busy myself a bit and just be. Because sometimes the grief is still overwhelming.  I am coming to realize that I still have a lot to process and a lot to overcome and I think I always will.   But learning to recognize that and move forward with that reality is something I am working on.

This month, I have one goal.  to focus on self- care and healing.  because I can already tell it's going to be a hard month for me.

I will be sharing more of our story over the next few weeks-- sometimes a common voice is all someone needs to start healing, and if I can bring that to someone then I will share forever.

goals are good. but healing is also good. and thats where I'll be.

cheers,  R